Siblings competition..

Most of the times I only share the sweet moments of the kids and how much I love being with them everyday. Every morning. Every afternoon. Every evening. Every night. In reality, not everyday is as sweet as honey. When life throws you a lemon, you make a lemonade. Oh well, some things are easier to be said than done.

This phase of motherhood is tough when I have to be a referee all the time. Sometimes I'm just confused where I should blow the whistle. Left or right? And what if I blow the whistle to the right but the fact is the left is the one that starts all the drama? I'm not Justice Bao, and I'm learning to be one as days go by. Everyday I feel like I'm a new mother. Trial and error here and there, learning how to tackle different situations in a day. I admit sometimes I did make wrong judgment, when I think this solution might work out for them but it just didn't happen. Oh God, please impart to me more of your wisdom understanding and knowledge that I will always be the best person that my children can rely and shoulder on.

Recently, the siblings competition became so intense that I started to develop a mild headache whenever the noises reach the soprano level. I would then hide myself in the room to quiet down (to avoid myself to turn into a dinosaur and start roaring) and when I feel much better, I walk out again. Babies, can you guys please play quietly and for once be so good to each other? Please give me a 15mins of quiet time. Is it doable babies? Sometimes I'm just so amazed that they compete over petite things.

Something like these:

• my chair no1. When I told them to put back their chairs, they are competing who can reach and place their chair first is no 1. No2 needs to stack the chair on top of the no1. Obviously, jie jie always win and then lil bro will shout and scream. In order to make both no1, both chairs are placed on the floor and no stacking. #headache1
• whenever I ask jie jie to help me to take my phone, lil bro will run very fast to get my phone and jie jie will run even faster. Who wins again? Of course the longer legs will win. Hence, the screaming again. So, after jie jie pass me my phone, I'll pass my phone to lil bro and then he will pass back to me. And you can see him smiling again. #headache2
• one second they play nicely together, the next second you will hear either one shouting "I don't want to friend you". "I don't want to play with you." "You snatch from me you never say please." "I got sticker I don't want to share with you." And the screaming continues until I go over and become a referee. #headache3
• don't take my things. No, this is mine. No, this one mommy bought for me one. No, mommy bought for me. You take my things you never say please. Shout and scream again. #headache4
• Daniel, can you share the toy with me? When the answer is no, there goes the screaming and shouting again. #headache5 
• La la la la la, I am the winner! You are the loser. I no1, you no2. Nooooo.. I no1. You no2. NO!!! I say I no1. You no2. Scream + Shout + Cry. #headache6

It's all the screaming and shouting and crying that makes my head explode. Especially when you're dealing with all these high decimal noise the whole day! Everyday I'm just looking forward for sleeping time. That's when I really get some peace. That's when my head and brain get some much needed rest. Haha. Then I started to dig out my favorite food and nom nom nom. Only mothers can understand mothers. =/

Despite all these screaming and shouting at one another, at the end of the day, I still must boast about their goodness. They still make the best friends. They care for one another. Once I spotted them holding hands to sleep (spying from the cctv). Jie Jie tells bedtime story to Di Di when daddy is busy with his work and mommy is busy nursing baby. They sing songs together. They look for each other when either one wakes up first. Ain't all these sweet? How nice if they stay this sweet for the entire day. *feeling hopeful*

 At the end of the day, they are still the best friends! The best soul mate! They care and protect one another.

Sometimes I keep reminding myself to focus on all the sweet memories with my children, to be thankful all the time, but most of the time my mind failed to connect. God, I need more of you! I need more grace in becoming a more graceful mother. Thank you for still entrusting these lovely children to me. The amount of grace and mercy you have shown to me, I shall do the same to your little children. Guide me Lord. I need Your strength to carry on with this highest calling! Amen.