The danger of Yelling.

I was stunned for a moment when I heard this statement from my going to 3yo daughter...
She said.. Mama, I shouted like you.

I froze. And I asked her, "You shout like mama? When did mama shout?"
And she said, "You shout lah"
(I was shouting at her earlier on when she decided to run around without getting dressed)

Yelling is doing more harm than good. I admit, many times I did lost my patience and I yelled. I've tried my best to stay calm, relax and slowly explain to her, but this calmness does not work if I'm too tired or when I have too many things pile up at home.

But recently, things seem to be a little better. I yelled lesser and thanks to Daniel for keeping me calm, steady and no-yelling at home. Reason behind this is that every time I yell, he gets scared and he cries and he quickly comes towards me for hug. It happened few times at home when I raised my voice and he got so scared that he let go all his toys and quickly crawled to me. Looking at him like that, every time when I lost my patience, I look at Daniel. It works.. I did tone down my voice and speak nicely/slowly to Ashlynn.

Don't underestimate the side effects of yelling.

The picture below clearly illustrates what happens when shouting is too normal at home.......

Your child is immune and eventually they WON'T listen! Your anger goes from the left to the right ear.. your advice no longer make sense to your child.

You might think that your child is afraid of you when you yell, but it works on the surface only. Deep inside their heart, they are imitating after you. They are taking you as their role-model. Every time you shout, they think it's OK to do so. They shout when they are unhappy. They shout when they didn't get what they want.

And they started to shout at their siblings.

 

Parents, we are all still learning. We are not perfect parents but we are the best role-model that God has entrusted us to be. When God provides, He leads. We can be one of the best parents to our kids, all by His grace. Teach us O Lord... that we will always be the apple of our children's eyes. That they will trust us in everything and we are their pillar of strength.

Dearest Ashlynn and Daniel, even though we might lost our patience at times (most of the times), please know that we really really really really love both of you. Forgive us when we are not in our best of shape, and we promise that we will try our best to make your every day a better and loving day, that when you grow up...and when you glance through your childhood days, you cast a big smile on your face. The happy memories of those old days...... 

Lots of love, hugs, kisses,

Papa & Mama

Yell Less , Love More - Achievement #2

Oh well, I'm proud to say that I made it again. The hubby was away for a wedding dinner, and I'm alone with the kiddos. The usual me, will definitely yell at least once. But last night, I didn't. Even though the apple crumbs were all over the floor, I just looked at her with my stern look and reminded her "no more playing with food". And that stern look works. She stopped playing with her apple and continued biting and eating them. Until few minutes later, the whole apple dropped on the floor. Ok, this is just another phase when toddlers learn how to eat on their own. (I reminded myself). All that I said was just "You see!" And I cleaned up the floor, took the apple, washed it and I ate it. :p

As a whole, we had a great night. She was cheerful, happy and when putting her to sleep, she kept calling me mama and this alone was already a bliss. I saved the entire atmosphere by not yelling and making her cry. 

Loving a baby is a circular business, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give the more you get and the more you get the more you feel like giving.
- Penelope Leach

It's 12.12am now and I'm looking forward for the sun to rise, and it's another day to give more love to my babies. Both of them are asleep now, and yeahh, I already miss the bonding time. And. I'm looking forward so much for the day to come. The more I yell less, the more I enjoy my weekends. Even more enjoy with both babies in my arms. Love wins!

Yell Less , Love More - Achievement #1

I've created a new hashtag in my blog called "Yell Less, Love More" mainly for the purpose to constantly remind myself this hashtag does exist and I'm working towards the goal to yell less and love more at home.

Last night was a win. I managed to hold my breath and I didn't yell. You might think this mom yells everyday, all the time. Well, I have one growing up toddler at home that still learning how to express herself whenever she's not happy. So, looking at it positively, she's growing up, she does not live life before and whenever things didn't go her way, she gets upset. True enough, we as adult get upset too whenever we didn't get what we want. We get emotional, but, we are matured enough to know how to control our emotion.

You know, this little girl of mine.. is the sweetest of all, whenever she's HAPPY. She's the prettiest among all, whenever she casts a big SMILE on her face. She's a heart breaker when she's on cloud nine. And because of this, I'm working towards this goal of mine, that I want her to be happy all the time, to carry a big smile wherever she goes and most importantly, tons of happy memories for her to remember down the memory lane. I wouldn't spoil her by achieving this goal, but the little goal that I set is to be stern yet loving. And, yelling is not the case.

It's not easy. But last night was my first achievement of "Yell Less, Love More". The result of it, she went to sleep happily. And the whole night, she was one happy lively bub. She chuckled, she smiled, she called "Mama" and "Papa" with a happy tone. The most important, the entire atmosphere at home is so SWEET and CHEERFUL. And this morning, she woke up with a smile. How much I desire for this, everyday. And all these smiles and happiness, lie in our hands, as parents. That, we should make it a point to Yell Less and Love More.

Let's work it out for our children, that everyday, they wake up with a sweet smile, looking forward to a happy day.