Pandan and chocolate butter cake

I have this expired butter at home which was bought last year. 😱 I just couldn't find the time to bake hence few blocks of butter expired just like that. I have two more blocks to go after this. Guess I'll be on butter marathon for the coming weeks. Butter marathon and then exercise marathon. Haha.

I decided to bake pandan chocolate butter cake because the pandan leaves grew so wild in my garden. I harvested the whole bunch, about 30 leaves and blend it with very little of water to get a real concentrated pandan juice. Strain the juice from the pulp and keep the juice overnight. The next day, you will see two layers in the bottle and pour away the top layer. Use only the concentrated juice that sinks to the bottom. Then you'll get a real greenish nice color of pandan cake.

Here's the recipe for the cake which I altered on my own. Experimenting my own recipe. 😋

250gm of butter
250 of cake flour
4 egg yolks
1 teaspoon of baking powder
60gm of sugar
6 tablespoons of pandan juice

4 eggs whites
60gm sugar

Chocolate powder

Preheat the oven.
1. Cream the butter and add 60gm sugar.
2. Add the egg yolks one at a time and beat.
3. Sift in the flour and baking powder and beat well until all mixed. Pour in the pandan juice alternately with the flour.
4. Beat the egg whites until foamy. Add the sugar in three batches and continue to beat until stiff.
5. Scoop 1/4 of the egg white meringue and fold in to the butter batter. Fold slowly until all are mixed well.
6. Then pour the batter into the remaining meringue and fold well.
7. Scoop some batter and mix with melted chocolate powder.
7. Pour the pandan batter into baking tin and then top with chocolate batter. Use a knife to create marble pattern for your cake. Bake at 160c for 50-60mins. Until your skewer come out clean.

I just love the bright green color of the pandan cake. Smells so good and the color is so refreshing!

My first lecture from baby A

I have this very not-so-good habit whenever I'm free..  Which is to browse the new arrival outfits for the kids! From Carters to Gymboree to Next to JanieJack. These four are my favorite outfits store for the kids. I bought mostly Carters and Gymboree for the girls and Next for the little boy. Next come out with pretty handsome outfit for boys. I love them. Thank God I'm not living in the States, else my purse will be bleeding to death. 😂

So today, I have some free time while the kids are playing by themselves and the little baby is sleeping in the room, I sit down in front of my pc and started to open few browsers at one go. Facebook. Hotmail. Carters. Gymboree. NextDirect. Janiejack. Crazy8.

Little did I know, my daughter is spying at me. I'm busy scrolling up and down looking at all the beautiful dresses for girls. They are so so pretty that I wish to have them all. One thing about Gymboree dresses are the designs are almost the same, only difference is the color of the cloth or an additional bow to spice up the dress. But I still like Gymboree dresses the most.

And here's the lecture..

A    : Mommy, why you always look at dresses .. So many dresses?
Me : because they are so pretty. I like to see.
A    : I already have so many new dresses. Cannot wear finish. Some never take turns to wear also. Daddy said cannot buy already. You stop buying ok.
Me : Oh really? When did Daddy say cannot buy?
A    : That day la. He said I have so many new dresses and must stop buying.
Me : Ok..  I'll stop buying for you. Then I buy for Victoria and myself ok?
A    : Ok. Buy for yourself and Victoria. But I  dun have new shorts. My shorts all old already. You can buy for me new shorts.
Me : ..........

My daughter has grown up. The very first lecture she gave me is to stop shopping and stop being a shopaholic. 😅

Being a parent doesn't mean you are always right. Being a mother to 3 beautiful children simply means I'm relearning life again. They taught me how to be patient, to be happy all the time, to be brave and not afraid of falls, to be strong even when I'm sick...etc. My children are my best teacher! 

Me time!

Everyday I'm just so busy with the two toddlers and a newborn and houseworks. It feels luxury if I'm able to have at least a 15-30mins of me time. If it's 1 hour then it's Gold! Can, if I stay awake middle of the night? Lol. So today, the kids skipped their nap in the afternoon and therefore, I put them to sleep as early as 8pm! Surprisingly the baby slept at the same time and I was just so excited that finally, I get some me time for myself.

That day I came across a Facebook post that asked "What do you like to do when you get an hour for yourself?" You see, whenever the kids are asleep, I just don't want to spend that precious time to sleep. Sleep when baby sleeps? It's just so difficult. No matter how tired I am, I just want to do something that I like to do, that I don't get to do when they are awake. Example. Baking! Or pamper my face with some toner/moisturizer and then mask. Or EAT-in-Peace!

Today, I chose to eat! Look at my supper. It was like finally, I get to eat in peace. Aahhh. Bliss!

Recently I'm addicted to RT Pastry's swiss roll. Their choclate and taro swiss roll are just so yummy that I cannot stop buying whenever I finished one roll. #fatdieme but #toodelicious and #Imusteat. The cream cheese cranberry bun is also yummy! Soft and filled with cream cheese. Gosh. Another #fatdieme food. Oh well, who cares. It's my me time! 

This matcha ice cream has been sleeping in my freezer for weeks and finally I found a perfect time to enjoy this little piece. I know my kids will love this, but I just need some time alone that I can eat in peace and enjoy every bite of it - when the house is silent, except for baby's sleeping Orchestra. 😂 

As much as I enjoy my me time, most of the time it doesn't last long. I was about to open the plastic of my bun and then I heard the baby's cry in the room. I wrapped up the bun again and sealed it for my breakfast the next day. Ahhh..  What a short me time. Hope to have a longer me time when baby V is older. But, please don't grow so fast baby V. Mommy needs to enjoy you as much as possible because you're the youngest in the family. 😍

Baby V at 3 Months 1 Day

Date : 31 May 2016

How far along : 3 Months 1 Day

Weight :
Newborn : 2.87kg
20 days old : 3.8kg
4 weeks : 4.65kg
9 weeks : 5.8kg

Height : 58cm at 9 weeks checkup

Head Circumference : 39cm at 9 weeks checkup

Sleep : Her sleep schedule is very very good. We do not have to rock her to sleep neither do we need to pat her to sleep. All we need is to make sure her tummy is full and she will sleep on her own! So So blessed to have such an easy baby. Love you so much little girl.

Food : I'm only 3 months old, therefore I can only drink milk. Still fully breastfeed. Whenever I bottle feed so that she get used to the frozen breastmilk, somehow somewhere in me just miss direct latching her. Even though we miss just about 2 sessions of DL, I still miss it. So much bonding that we have in direct latching. It literally calms the baby down and it's so much easier to put her to sleep. No, she doesn't treat me as her pacifier, she does drink to sleep and when she's full, she unlatches on her own. So proud of her.

Best moment this week : 28 May 2016. Goodbye little mittens! My baby girl has outgrown her mittens.
I've decided to remove the mittens because she has been loving her little fists so much. Instead of sucking the mittens, it's better to let her indulge in her little "drumsticks" right? She's getting stronger day by day, she can kick and lift her legs high up in the air, almost to 90 degrees. I'm pretty sure very soon she will be holding her feets and then the process of putting those little feets in the mouth. Haha. Thank God for all the great developments. Thank God for a healthy little baby. I love her so much!

It's so tasty mommy. Hehe

The routine is scary

Sometimes the everyday routine in life can be so scary that I don't wish to wake up to the morning. I just feel like hiding under my blanket and just sleep and sleep. The routine is so tiring that oh, it's another day, a day all by myself again. A day that I'm so afraid off that I don't look forward to.

But at the same time, time flies so fast that my newborn is no longer a newborn. Jie jie is growing up so fast that one more year of preschool and she will graduate. Kor kor is going to preschool next year. My kids are growing up. Where did the time go? Life is so busy that I forgot to sit down and enjoy and relax and just watch them grow.

I miss those days when life was pretty free when we will enjoy ourselves on the couch catching up with our favorite drama of the day after work. Shopping and dine out can be anytime anywhere and stress free. I dressed up, put my makeup and lipstick on, blew my hair and when I felt that I looked presentable, off we went.

Today, I just don't bother to put any make up on because when makeup and sweat mix together, you know what is the outcome. To prepare two toddlers and a baby for an outing, most of the time my whole face is drenched with sweat. Once everyone gets into the car, I sit down, blast the aircond and take a deep breath. And I pray that the two toddlers will follow instructions and the baby will drink and sleep. No fuss. Sometimes a family outing can also be pretty stressful when I have to keep the kids quiet while the husband is dealing with the bumper to bumper jam. Tell me, how to keep the kids quiet when you know they are kids? Shouldn't we be thankful that they are active, means they are healthy?

Boy, how life has changed. Some days I just love to be home with my kids. But some days I regretted why I resigned. I miss talking and laughing together with my friends. I miss dressing up and looking good on the mirror. I miss my payslip and reward myself at the end of the month. I miss the ability to buy what I like or fly on a jet plane as and when we see cheap deals. I miss it when I can slowly enjoy my food. I miss having different environment to work in, great encounter with different people in the world.

When my colleague knew I resigned, she told me I will definitely miss having fun with friends and staying at home is like growing fungus on yourself. And another colleague told me that you will not have any conversation to talk to your husband because you're out from the world. All that you talk is oh, this vege is cheap. Oh, pasar malam sells cheaper fish. The auntys' talk. At that time, I just stared at her and smiled and I whispered in my heart, 'I will prove you wrong'.

Today, I felt like those words are slapping on my face. Staying at home makes me feel so lonely. The husband is busy all the time, except for the weekends. During weekdays, we hardly have time to sit down and cuddle and talk. He's so busy with his late night meetings and meetings that we all don't eat dinner together nor do we go to bed together. When me and the kids are sleeping, he's still working. It breaks my heart when sometimes the kids will say I want to sleep with daddy. Some days are so busy for him that I don't get to talk to him at all. All these makes me feel what is life all about.

I miss the good old working days. When we will come home together after work, have dinner and then we will tuck in bed together as a family, with our precious little ones next to us. Today, it's just so different. I also miss the hangouts with my friends. I miss the old working days when me and my colleagues always look at the clock for 12pm. We looked forward for lunch and we created a chatroom just to discuss what to eat and where to eat. And then we joked, talked and laughed. Not to mention, I have a very good understanding boss. And that makes my working life more vibrant. Those were the good old days.

This struggle is so real that some nights I just lie down and cry. Day after day, it's just another day passing by. The same routine. The same day. Just another day again. God, it's tough. I know you see it. I just need to find back the reason to appreciate life and smile. I just need to surrender everything and find rest under His wings. Rest and Relax.

Baby V at 11 Weeks

Date : 17 May 2016

How far along : 11 Weeks

Weight : 5.8kg at 9 weeks checkup

Height : 58cm at 9 weeks checkup

Head Circumference : 39cm at 9 weeks checkup

Sleep : Good news! Baby V almost sleeps through the night. If her last feed is 10pm, she can sleep up to 4/5am. And if her last feed is 12am, she can sleep till 6am! She didn't cry a storm when she wakes up for milk, but all she does is she sucks her fingers. The sucking sound can be so loud that it wakes me up from my dreamland. That's when I know she needs her milk. She's just like Jie Jie. Almost sleeps through the night at 2mths old. =D

Food : Fully breastfed baby. She's taking the bottle well now. Everyday at least once I would bottle feed her with the frozen breastmilk. The freezer is now full, therefore the extra breastmilk will go to Jie Jie or Kor Kor's little tummy. Sometimes I need to mix with Yoghurt drink or some milo to make them drink. Haha. And baby girl.. this is your smile whenever your tummy is full. Keep smiling.. know that happy baby equals to happy mom yeah. =)

Best moment this week :Wow Wow Wow! You can lift up her head so high up! Big claps to you baby girl, even though it's only for few seconds. Mommy is so proud of you. And you smile more and more and more. Your smile just melts my heart away .... I love to see you smile baby. When you are happy, mommy is even more happy. Keep smiling little bub! Love you!

Haakaa Silicone Breast pump Review

Today, I'm going to write a short review about this amazing yet cheap breastpump. It's my personal review, solely on what I think about this pump. If you know marmet technique, this silicone breast pump works just like that. It's suction is strong enough to hold the bottle on your breast. Therefore, you can go hands free! But just be careful not to move too much because the pump will lose its suction and the bottle will drop. {I've tried to use this while cooking, and the bottle doesn't hold. :p}

The best part about this pump is there's no parts to wash. One piece on its own. It's not detachable but you can use a soft sponge and your fingers can reach to the bottom of the bottle. So no worries. Otherwise you can buy a sponge bottle brush to clean. Remember, no scrubbing or rough materials on this silicone pump.

This pump comes in handy especially when your baby only drinks one side and you need to empty the other side. I find this very useful at night, when my baby only drinks one side and I will use this to pump the other side. All these while after direct latching, I keep myself awake as I need to empty the boobs with electric pump. Sometimes I was so tired and sleepy that I just ignore the engorged boob and sleep with it. Until I wake up to a wet shirt. =/ With this pump, I can kill two birds with one stone! Direct latching + pumping at the same time! Awesome!

However, I find that the milk collection bottle is too small. The measurement printed on the bottle is wrong, it says 4oz/90ml maximum but the actual size is 3oz/90ml. They only have one standard size, therefore I always prepare an empty bottle next to me just in case the bottle overflows. Oh yeah, this pump has a wide surface, therefore the milk gets contaminated easily. Do not pump and leave it unattended. Again, I will prepare an empty storage bottle next to me to keep the milk as soon as I've finished the session.

Overall, this pump has been so useful to me. It saves a lot of time! Less parts to wash. Pump the other side while baby is latching on the other side. So convenient. Easy to bring around. I'm loving my Haakaa. It's cheap! I ordered this at 11street for only RM70 plus shipping and I received this the next day itself. The seller is super efficient!

This is the amount that I get after 5 mins! This pump works efficiently to express out the milk. I notice that it won't empty the boob completely, unless I encourage the second let down.

Look at the open-aired wide surface of the flange. Your milk will get contaminated easily. 

Therefore, always prepare an empty bottle when you're pumping so that you can transfer the milk as soon as you're done.