I was stunned for a moment when I heard this statement from my going to 3yo daughter...
She said.. Mama, I shouted like you.
I froze. And I asked her, "You shout like mama? When did mama shout?"
And she said, "You shout lah"
(I was shouting at her earlier on when she decided to run around without getting dressed)
Yelling is doing more harm than good. I admit, many times I did lost my patience and I yelled. I've tried my best to stay calm, relax and slowly explain to her, but this calmness does not work if I'm too tired or when I have too many things pile up at home.
But recently, things seem to be a little better. I yelled lesser and thanks to Daniel for keeping me calm, steady and no-yelling at home. Reason behind this is that every time I yell, he gets scared and he cries and he quickly comes towards me for hug. It happened few times at home when I raised my voice and he got so scared that he let go all his toys and quickly crawled to me. Looking at him like that, every time when I lost my patience, I look at Daniel. It works.. I did tone down my voice and speak nicely/slowly to Ashlynn.
Don't underestimate the side effects of yelling.
You might think that your child is afraid of you when you yell, but it works on the surface only. Deep inside their heart, they are imitating after you. They are taking you as their role-model. Every time you shout, they think it's OK to do so. They shout when they are unhappy. They shout when they didn't get what they want.
Parents, we are all still learning. We are not perfect parents but we are the best role-model that God has entrusted us to be. When God provides, He leads. We can be one of the best parents to our kids, all by His grace. Teach us O Lord... that we will always be the apple of our children's eyes. That they will trust us in everything and we are their pillar of strength.
She said.. Mama, I shouted like you.
I froze. And I asked her, "You shout like mama? When did mama shout?"
And she said, "You shout lah"
(I was shouting at her earlier on when she decided to run around without getting dressed)
Yelling is doing more harm than good. I admit, many times I did lost my patience and I yelled. I've tried my best to stay calm, relax and slowly explain to her, but this calmness does not work if I'm too tired or when I have too many things pile up at home.
But recently, things seem to be a little better. I yelled lesser and thanks to Daniel for keeping me calm, steady and no-yelling at home. Reason behind this is that every time I yell, he gets scared and he cries and he quickly comes towards me for hug. It happened few times at home when I raised my voice and he got so scared that he let go all his toys and quickly crawled to me. Looking at him like that, every time when I lost my patience, I look at Daniel. It works.. I did tone down my voice and speak nicely/slowly to Ashlynn.
Don't underestimate the side effects of yelling.
The picture below clearly illustrates what happens when shouting is too normal at home.......
Your child is immune and eventually they WON'T listen! Your anger goes from the left to the right ear.. your advice no longer make sense to your child.
You might think that your child is afraid of you when you yell, but it works on the surface only. Deep inside their heart, they are imitating after you. They are taking you as their role-model. Every time you shout, they think it's OK to do so. They shout when they are unhappy. They shout when they didn't get what they want.
And they started to shout at their siblings.
Parents, we are all still learning. We are not perfect parents but we are the best role-model that God has entrusted us to be. When God provides, He leads. We can be one of the best parents to our kids, all by His grace. Teach us O Lord... that we will always be the apple of our children's eyes. That they will trust us in everything and we are their pillar of strength.
Dearest Ashlynn and Daniel, even though we might lost our patience at times (most of the times), please know that we really really really really love both of you. Forgive us when we are not in our best of shape, and we promise that we will try our best to make your every day a better and loving day, that when you grow up...and when you glance through your childhood days, you cast a big smile on your face. The happy memories of those old days......
Lots of love, hugs, kisses,
Papa & Mama
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