I have been extremely EMO lately. You might not understand, why I don't let my baby cry unnecessarily. We've heard of many advice telling us to don't give immediate response when baby cries, baby cries is good for her lungs, cannot manja baby too much... etc. A lot of "very-kind" advices you will hear from many resources, and it creates a little confusion in me. I actually know what I should do, but I do not have the choice. If I have given the choice, if I do it without thinking any further, I'm not sure what the future holds. Should I just go for it and plan on the future later? Like what God says in the Bible, we are worth more than lilies on the ground. And He takes care of us more than we can imagine. But I just can't simply make that decision, because we wanted to give Ashlynn the best. And to give all the best, it requires some finance. Of course, nothing on earth can beat the love parents can give, but to be realistic, we are still living in the world and everything in this world requires $$$ if you are looking at giving your baby the best. Just like giving your kid the best education, doesn't it requires money?
I really forbid letting my baby cry for long. 1-2 mins is enough for me because the sound of her scream is like 1-2 years. The reason I didn't let her cry for long at home is because she had ENOUGH during her first two months.
The first month, she was pricked on the hands and feet for blood test due to jaundice. And the poor baby, cried and scream for 30 mins when she was pricked on the feet and the nurse slowly collected her blood drop by drop in a tube. Can you ever imagine the "excellent technology" that a hospital has! This was more than enough of crying training for a newborn, as early as 7 days after birth.
The 2nd time was when her jaundice level didn't go down and the nurse tried to prick on her hand, but couldn't find the vein. Again, the poor baby cried buckets and whenever you hold her hand, she got a trauma and she started screaming. Ain't this more than enough?
The 3rd time when she was having bad phlegm, flu, cough, blocked nose and suspected RSV. Again, she was pricked on the hand and this time was to insert the fluid drip. Again, she cried and scream for minutes.
The 4th time was during suction to clear some phlegm in the throat and remove some excess from the nose. Suction was done 2 times a day, for 2 days and in the end, to avoid the 15 mins screaming, I told the nurse she was getting better and she did not need suction. She hated the suction a lot. And I hated it too! Imagine inserting a tube in a 2 mths old nose and throat to suck out the all the stubborn enemies .... It is torturing and traumatizing! Her milk intake dropped, her eyes swollen, she slept most of the time, she got shocked easily, she got traumatized when you touch her nose/mouth/hands......
SHE HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THESE CRYING ..... and I strongly against unnecessary crying that I have the control!
Since then .......
I never bring my baby out to shopping malls or any crowded places... she stays at home most of the time. Wait till she's bigger... Many smart voices told me, it is good to expose your baby with some "germs".. Does it sounds logical to you? Why do I want to PURPOSELY put my baby in such environment to boost her immune system? Doesn't make sense to me.. Germs are already everywhere, when I bring her out of the house to the car, to the lift. Even at home, I didn't sterilize the whole house so it has germs traveling all around. I endure the "quarantined" because again, she had enough! She's too young to go through all the hurdles of pricking and suction!
Secondly, I never let her cry for long, 1-2 mins are enough because she had more than enough of crying. I do not want her to cry unnecessarily when I have the choice to stop the crying, when I can do something to stop the cry. It is no longer any topic about spoiling your baby... you do not know what she has gone through in her first few months, so you have no say. I'm not spoiling my baby, she's a baby and she does not have to go through any hard training, all babies should be loved, aren't they? Wait till she can start talking and that's when the real parenting and training comes in.
As for crying being healthy for baby's lungs? Kitzinger and Taubman both agree the advice is "stupid and inappropriate." In her book, Crying Baby, Sleepless Nights, Sandy Jones elaborates, "The real truth is that crying is hard on a baby, and it uses up his limited resources. Although young babies can't help crying, you can tell it is self-punishing behavior. When a baby's cries aren't stopped, his arms and legs tighten, his mouth gets dry, his lips start to turn blue, his lungs probably ache, his blood pressure goes up, the veins in his head may swell and even break, and his blood oxygen level starts to go down, not up."
Go with the feel, many conflicting and contradicting advice is available everywhere... and if you don't feel good following them, don't do it. Some works for other babies, and you know what works for your baby and I know what works for my baby. Follow my way please.....
