It has been a good 5 months! Since I left work. And be a full time mom to the two precious gems. Life couldn't be better that I can gaze at their beauty 24x7. I can watch them grow. I can learn life together as they discover new milestones and we walk the baby steps together. Not to forget, I do discover new tactics of crying for wanting something. I do discover new tantrums. And then I pray for more wisdom to tackle situations/meltdowns.
Life is busy. I hardly rest. My only free time is during the noon, 2-5/6pm when they are napping. I sleep as late as 12 or 1 am and wake up at 7.30pm. I prepare breakfast for A to bring to school, wake her up and give her a bottle of milk. Bath her, dress her in her school uniform, apply some baby oil/lotion/mozzy lotion to avoid mosquito bites, then wear socks and shoes. Wake little boy up to accompany Jie Jie to school and off we go.
While Jie Jie enjoys her school, it's Mommy-Di Di bonding time. I nurse him, bath him, and gave him some cereal for breakfast. Then, it's time to cook porridge for the kids - steam egg for Di Di and fried egg for Jie Jie. And soup for the family! The kids love soup! Little D will go "I want zoup, I want zoup, Please mommy, I want zoup". So Cute! Then, preparing lunch for myself and hubby.
*beep beep* Washing machine is done. Time to hang clothes. When the clock ticks 11am, I grab an apple and oranges to make juice. Apple juice for the boy and orange juice for myself. Yumm. Juicing is fun. But not the washing. =/
12pm. How time flies. It's time to fetch Jie Jie from school. Bath her, dress her up and then feed both kids porridge while eating my lunch at the same time. It's 1.30pm when I settle everything including washing the plates/bowls/pots. Then, I go outside to keep the clothes inside, I do not want my clothes to become "crispy" under the hot scorching sun. Pheww. What a long day. I took my bath. I scrubbed my hair and yes, I feel fresh once again.
It's 2pm. I lay my butt on the sofa, wanting some me time and rest, but the kids wouldn't let me enjoy my me-time. So, I entertain them. Sometimes we take photos together. Sometimes we sing songs. Sometimes we play and scream together. 2.30pm ! It's time to put the kids to sleep! Yeay! I love this time because it's really my me-time. Provided the little boy doesn't wake up in the middle of the nap and scream. If this happens, there goes my me-time and it's nursing time again. I gave them last round of feed, their favorite milk milk before they go to sleep. Change little D's diaper, put on new diaper for A and then nurse little D to sleep. When D is fast asleep, I jump to little A's bed , lie down next to her and when she's fast asleep, I slowly sneak out from her bed, close the room door and my heart shout with joy! Yeay! It's me time. It's also a fattening time because I would dig the fridge or freezer for "unhealthy snacks". After satisfying myself with those treats, I go upstairs and fold clothes. Clean the messy table. Spot for any dusty furniture that needs to be wiped. Or wash the bathroom. Or mop the floor. Sometimes I'm just pure lazy and I just want to sit in front of the computer or TV and enjoy myself.
It's 5.30pm. Time to wake the kids up. Sometimes I will drag their sleeping time till 6pm, depending how tired they are. Wake them up. Give them some water. Heat up their porridge. Heat up our food. And we all eat together while I feed both kids at the same time. After that, time for washing again. This round, more pots to wash. Soup pot. Rice pot. Meat pot. Plates and more plates.
Then, I enjoy some TVB drama at TV8 while coaching Jie Jie in her study. We do revision together what she has learned in school. We do reading together, both English and Mandarin. While doing the revision, I cut some fruits for the family. After revision, it's yoghurt / vitamin time. I crush the chewable vitamins (Animal parade Vitamin C and Immune booster which I purchase from Iherb) and mix them with Yoghurt. They dislike to chew, so I just have to put in extra effort to crush them and mix with yoghurt. And they eat happily this way. Their tummy is happy, and now is bath time! Bath the kids, dress them up with pyjamas and give them one last round of milk for the day. I brush their teeth and put some cooling powder on their face. They will have some jie jie di di daddy and mommy bonding playing time together before we read Bible and pray. Then... off the lights we go! I nurse little D to sleep while Jie Jie sleeps with Daddy on the bed. After Jie Jie is deep in sleep, we move her to her baby cot.
And we call it a night!
It's finally my me time again! My only time to check on Facebook and catch up with the news of the day. That explains why I sometimes sleep at 12-1am. But on some days, I was too tired that I dozed off while nursing Little D.
After doing all these, I wouldn't say I've done so much or I've done everything but, like most working people in office, everyone deserves a recognition. You like it when your customer is happy with the service you deliver and send you a thank you mail. You're on top of the moon when your boss praise you for a good job. Your butt is like a balloon floating in the air when your hard work is recognized and being paid off by a good increment and bonus. Just like any other working employees, we, full time home makers do need a recognition. As simple as Thank You for your sacrifice, it means a lot. And it keeps us going sane! It keeps us motivated for another day. Just another day.
But, after having done this much and you hear someone say, your wife is not working and yet she doesn't do this and that... it breaks a stay at home mom's heart. My heart silently cried. I look at my kids and tears started rolling down. My cheeks are all wet while I nurse Little D to sleep. Hence, a wet pillow. I stroke Little A's hair when I accompany her to fall asleep and I sob. I love them so much. I want to be with them. The fear of losing them is so real that I don't want to send them to strangers. At this point, I envy those people that have their parents to look after their little ones and go to work without worrying, are my kids OK.
I have my limitation. I couldn't take care of everything in the house. I've done as much as I can. Being a human being, some days you just feel like hibernating and you want time off for yourself. I'm sad. I'm disappointed. I'm confused. Did I ever make the correct decision. People won't condemn me if I'm working. The house chores can be left aside, close one eye and I used to have a helping hand when I was working. But now, I'm not working and it seems like the expectation gets so high I couldn't reach with my own ability/capability. I have so much to do for the day. I just want a little moment for myself. And yet I couldn't. I've been falling sick every month. And every month, I finished off 1.5 bars of Panadol to keep my fever down so that I regain my strength to look after the kids. It's time to declare no more fever after this. Praying for a strong and healthy body.
I'm not writing this to get some sympathy or being a pathetic stay at home mom, but I just need to let it go. Let it go to a little space of mine that writes and penned down every feelings, good or bad moments, happy and sad days.
All I want is to be a happy mom to my kids and a happy wife to my husband. That's all.
Life is busy. I hardly rest. My only free time is during the noon, 2-5/6pm when they are napping. I sleep as late as 12 or 1 am and wake up at 7.30pm. I prepare breakfast for A to bring to school, wake her up and give her a bottle of milk. Bath her, dress her in her school uniform, apply some baby oil/lotion/mozzy lotion to avoid mosquito bites, then wear socks and shoes. Wake little boy up to accompany Jie Jie to school and off we go.
While Jie Jie enjoys her school, it's Mommy-Di Di bonding time. I nurse him, bath him, and gave him some cereal for breakfast. Then, it's time to cook porridge for the kids - steam egg for Di Di and fried egg for Jie Jie. And soup for the family! The kids love soup! Little D will go "I want zoup, I want zoup, Please mommy, I want zoup". So Cute! Then, preparing lunch for myself and hubby.
*beep beep* Washing machine is done. Time to hang clothes. When the clock ticks 11am, I grab an apple and oranges to make juice. Apple juice for the boy and orange juice for myself. Yumm. Juicing is fun. But not the washing. =/
12pm. How time flies. It's time to fetch Jie Jie from school. Bath her, dress her up and then feed both kids porridge while eating my lunch at the same time. It's 1.30pm when I settle everything including washing the plates/bowls/pots. Then, I go outside to keep the clothes inside, I do not want my clothes to become "crispy" under the hot scorching sun. Pheww. What a long day. I took my bath. I scrubbed my hair and yes, I feel fresh once again.
It's 2pm. I lay my butt on the sofa, wanting some me time and rest, but the kids wouldn't let me enjoy my me-time. So, I entertain them. Sometimes we take photos together. Sometimes we sing songs. Sometimes we play and scream together. 2.30pm ! It's time to put the kids to sleep! Yeay! I love this time because it's really my me-time. Provided the little boy doesn't wake up in the middle of the nap and scream. If this happens, there goes my me-time and it's nursing time again. I gave them last round of feed, their favorite milk milk before they go to sleep. Change little D's diaper, put on new diaper for A and then nurse little D to sleep. When D is fast asleep, I jump to little A's bed , lie down next to her and when she's fast asleep, I slowly sneak out from her bed, close the room door and my heart shout with joy! Yeay! It's me time. It's also a fattening time because I would dig the fridge or freezer for "unhealthy snacks". After satisfying myself with those treats, I go upstairs and fold clothes. Clean the messy table. Spot for any dusty furniture that needs to be wiped. Or wash the bathroom. Or mop the floor. Sometimes I'm just pure lazy and I just want to sit in front of the computer or TV and enjoy myself.
It's 5.30pm. Time to wake the kids up. Sometimes I will drag their sleeping time till 6pm, depending how tired they are. Wake them up. Give them some water. Heat up their porridge. Heat up our food. And we all eat together while I feed both kids at the same time. After that, time for washing again. This round, more pots to wash. Soup pot. Rice pot. Meat pot. Plates and more plates.
Then, I enjoy some TVB drama at TV8 while coaching Jie Jie in her study. We do revision together what she has learned in school. We do reading together, both English and Mandarin. While doing the revision, I cut some fruits for the family. After revision, it's yoghurt / vitamin time. I crush the chewable vitamins (Animal parade Vitamin C and Immune booster which I purchase from Iherb) and mix them with Yoghurt. They dislike to chew, so I just have to put in extra effort to crush them and mix with yoghurt. And they eat happily this way. Their tummy is happy, and now is bath time! Bath the kids, dress them up with pyjamas and give them one last round of milk for the day. I brush their teeth and put some cooling powder on their face. They will have some jie jie di di daddy and mommy bonding playing time together before we read Bible and pray. Then... off the lights we go! I nurse little D to sleep while Jie Jie sleeps with Daddy on the bed. After Jie Jie is deep in sleep, we move her to her baby cot.
And we call it a night!
It's finally my me time again! My only time to check on Facebook and catch up with the news of the day. That explains why I sometimes sleep at 12-1am. But on some days, I was too tired that I dozed off while nursing Little D.
After doing all these, I wouldn't say I've done so much or I've done everything but, like most working people in office, everyone deserves a recognition. You like it when your customer is happy with the service you deliver and send you a thank you mail. You're on top of the moon when your boss praise you for a good job. Your butt is like a balloon floating in the air when your hard work is recognized and being paid off by a good increment and bonus. Just like any other working employees, we, full time home makers do need a recognition. As simple as Thank You for your sacrifice, it means a lot. And it keeps us going sane! It keeps us motivated for another day. Just another day.
But, after having done this much and you hear someone say, your wife is not working and yet she doesn't do this and that... it breaks a stay at home mom's heart. My heart silently cried. I look at my kids and tears started rolling down. My cheeks are all wet while I nurse Little D to sleep. Hence, a wet pillow. I stroke Little A's hair when I accompany her to fall asleep and I sob. I love them so much. I want to be with them. The fear of losing them is so real that I don't want to send them to strangers. At this point, I envy those people that have their parents to look after their little ones and go to work without worrying, are my kids OK.
I have my limitation. I couldn't take care of everything in the house. I've done as much as I can. Being a human being, some days you just feel like hibernating and you want time off for yourself. I'm sad. I'm disappointed. I'm confused. Did I ever make the correct decision. People won't condemn me if I'm working. The house chores can be left aside, close one eye and I used to have a helping hand when I was working. But now, I'm not working and it seems like the expectation gets so high I couldn't reach with my own ability/capability. I have so much to do for the day. I just want a little moment for myself. And yet I couldn't. I've been falling sick every month. And every month, I finished off 1.5 bars of Panadol to keep my fever down so that I regain my strength to look after the kids. It's time to declare no more fever after this. Praying for a strong and healthy body.
I'm not writing this to get some sympathy or being a pathetic stay at home mom, but I just need to let it go. Let it go to a little space of mine that writes and penned down every feelings, good or bad moments, happy and sad days.
All I want is to be a happy mom to my kids and a happy wife to my husband. That's all.
Just one word.....WOW!! I salute you la Carysse. Kudos to you....the Super Mom.
ReplyDeleteThanks Effiza!! We are all great moms... working in office or working at home, we just couldn't stop worrying for our kids. And we will squeeze ourselves to give them the best. Let's keep strong! =)
ReplyDeleteYou can do it, mama!! God has given us the strength to do it! Each time when you feel like you are limited, remember that God is limitless and He will strengthen you all the way!! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you my dear!! Can't wait to see you next year!! Huggsss.....
ReplyDelete