My baby girl is now 9 months and 6 days old... When Ashlynn was born, I've set a target to breastfeed her minimum 6 months and maximum a year. I've set a minimum target for myself, just to make myself proud that oh yeay, I've hit my minimum target and I still have 6 more months to go before I can proudly shout and give a good pat on my shoulder that I did what I said.
Honestly, breastfeeding is NOT an easy task. When I was pregnant, I always thought that breastfeeding is very easy and simple. Baby hungry, feed... baby not hungry, I pump. Such a simple and short statement but takes the whole of you.
After few hours Ashlynn was born, the nurse brought our baby girl to me to latch on. At that time, I didn't know how to hold my baby and latch and the nurse helped me with that. The nurse was all skillful and we managed to breastfeed successfully. But after 20 mins on one side, it was time to change to the other side and again, I didn't latch her properly and she ended up bursting with a loud cry. I carried her and rocked her to sleep. Few minutes later she got up hungry and wanted to be fed. Latching and sucking were totally new to her and she got frustrated easily when her demand was not met and this first time momma was so clumsy handling a newborn baby.
The next day, we checked out from the hospital and we got home. At home, without the help of a nurse, baby was not able to latch properly and not getting enough milk, once I got her latched on the right way, she sucked for few minutes and then she fell asleep. I tried to disturb her cheeks or tickled her arms to wake her up to continue the feed and she didn't. I put her down assuming she was full but few minutes later, she got up hungry and crying. I latched on, and few minutes later she fell asleep again. Tried many ways to keep her awake during feeding but she just continue with her sweet dreams. This went on and on .. In the end, I decided to pump and feed. This works better than direct feed, at least she got the enough amount of milk and sleep and I don't get engorgement and I can keep my flow going. Sometimes, she treated my breast as her pacifier and she fell asleep comfortably after sucking for few minutes.
The first few days, the milk flow was so bad that my milk only came in on the 5-6th day after birth. Very low supply and I had to top up with formula. I continuously pump and latch every 2 hours to get my milk coming in. The first pump, I only managed to collect 0.5oz and slowly increased to 1oz, then 1.5, then 2 and finally after 2 months, my milk went up to 4-6oz. To get that amount of 6oz, I had to pump frequently, every 3-4 hours and drink lots of liquid and eat those food that encourage milk supply. Fenugreek helps a lot!
2 months passed just like that and it was time to get back to work! Most of the time, I pumped and fed her through the bottle to let her get used to it since we will be sending her to her babysitter when I'm off to work. She loves the bottle more because the flow is consistent and not much effort needed plus minus the trying and error while latching.
Pumping at work is NEVER easy. My office is not a mommy-friendly office whereby there's a mother's room prepared for "pumping-mothers". I sought advices from my friends and some advices that I get myself a nursing wrap and pump on my desk. I'm just not brave enough to do this, added up with the pumping noise yee-ook yee-ook. I will not pump in peace and thus, I believe there won't be much milk flow as well. The only last choice is pump in toilet! Sighhh.... Pump and throw because it's not hygiene at all. Thank God, on the first day I went back to office, I saw a store room in my office. I found the keys in the drawer and voila, so thankful that at least I have a "better" place to pump compared to pump in toilet and throw the EBM. Such a waste.....
I diligently pumped twice when I'm in office and keep the breastmilk in the fridge. And there was one time that I didn't close the lid tight enough and all the 10oz of milk that I pumped spilled in the plastic bag that I used to wrap up the milk bottle. Felt so heart ache...... my hard work!
Even though I found a perfect spot to pump which is the store room , but there are several keys holder, myself, the admin and maintenance GUY. So, no matter how I lock the door, the key holders can anytime open the door. =( There was one time while I was enjoying pumping, I heard keys sound entering the door knob of the store room, the key lock twisted and I was so panic. I quickly stopped the machine and get dressed up and phewww, I managed to settle everything before the door opened. And a cleaner walked in, she was shocked that I was inside. This was the first incident, at least it was a lady cleaner.
The 2nd Incident, the same thing happened, I heard the door knob twisted and I got very panic, I quickly stopped the machine, put back the pump and almost spilled the milk all over on the floor as I need to dress up asap before the door knob opens. This time, I didn't get to dress up on time as the door knob opened faster than I could ever get covered up. But thankfully, the person who opened the door didn't walk straight in. At least I still have some time to cover up nicely and then I walked out of the store room. This time, it was the maintenance GUY. Sighhh.......... Pump With No Peace.
After this few incidents, I decided to sacrifice my lunch and pump during lunch time instead hoping that everyone goes for lunch and no maintenance/cleaner will enter the store room. This solution works....
Finally, after much hurdles and sweat, we made it to the 6th months. I hit my minimum target of breastfeeding and we were doing so well!
Until one day .......
I was having fever due to the hot weather, lack of sleep and no proper nutrition due to the busyness... my body failed and I got fever. I got no energy to get up and pump every 3-4 hours and thus, I delayed the pumping sessions and due to that, I got engorgement as I didn't empty my breasts completely. I just didn't have the energy to sit down and slowly pump and get it emptied..... few days later, my fever recovered but the next day, I got fever again. I knew something was not right because I know this fever was due to internal inflammation. My instinct was right, I suspected I had mastitis. =( Big ouch..... The next day, we drove to Gleneagles and check back with my gynae, it was confirmed that I had mastitis and I was under antibiotic for 1 week. Thank God, no abscess and thus, no surgery needed. It was scary enough when the doc sent me away for ultrasound to check if there was any abscess and if yes, I would need to go for surgery...... I almost fainted when I heard that. Thank God!
After antibiotic, my fever went down and the swell recovered. All was well for few weeks and breastfeeding continued... until one day.......... my cutie pie bit me! Oucchhh...... the injury got worst as days went by due to the continuous pumping without any rest days. We drove to normal GP, the doc gave some cream but it didn't work. Then, we went to Pantai Hospital for specialist and she gave an antibiotic cream and was told to stop pumping for 2 days to let it heal. This antibiotic cream worked great and the injury became better. But, it was not possible for me not to pump because of the engorgement, so I went on with a really low speed, but with this low speed, the duration dragged on to 30 mins per session. Big Ouch again ..... In the end, I decided to give up BF. I was tired of all these pains and since I've hit my minimum target of 6 mths, I've accomplished the least. Still, I felt a bit sayang as I know breastmilk is really good but I need to let it recover. It took me 1.5 months to totally stop bf and finally, 6 July was the last day my baby was on breastmilk. And on this last day, the only frozen breastmilk left in the freezer, somehow the bottle slipped from my hands and parp... the milk spilled all over my shirt. Sighhhhhhhhhh.............the only last and precious breastmilk left, I dropped it! =(
Goodbye bf... till we meet again next time!
Honestly, breastfeeding is NOT an easy task. When I was pregnant, I always thought that breastfeeding is very easy and simple. Baby hungry, feed... baby not hungry, I pump. Such a simple and short statement but takes the whole of you.
After few hours Ashlynn was born, the nurse brought our baby girl to me to latch on. At that time, I didn't know how to hold my baby and latch and the nurse helped me with that. The nurse was all skillful and we managed to breastfeed successfully. But after 20 mins on one side, it was time to change to the other side and again, I didn't latch her properly and she ended up bursting with a loud cry. I carried her and rocked her to sleep. Few minutes later she got up hungry and wanted to be fed. Latching and sucking were totally new to her and she got frustrated easily when her demand was not met and this first time momma was so clumsy handling a newborn baby.
The next day, we checked out from the hospital and we got home. At home, without the help of a nurse, baby was not able to latch properly and not getting enough milk, once I got her latched on the right way, she sucked for few minutes and then she fell asleep. I tried to disturb her cheeks or tickled her arms to wake her up to continue the feed and she didn't. I put her down assuming she was full but few minutes later, she got up hungry and crying. I latched on, and few minutes later she fell asleep again. Tried many ways to keep her awake during feeding but she just continue with her sweet dreams. This went on and on .. In the end, I decided to pump and feed. This works better than direct feed, at least she got the enough amount of milk and sleep and I don't get engorgement and I can keep my flow going. Sometimes, she treated my breast as her pacifier and she fell asleep comfortably after sucking for few minutes.
The first few days, the milk flow was so bad that my milk only came in on the 5-6th day after birth. Very low supply and I had to top up with formula. I continuously pump and latch every 2 hours to get my milk coming in. The first pump, I only managed to collect 0.5oz and slowly increased to 1oz, then 1.5, then 2 and finally after 2 months, my milk went up to 4-6oz. To get that amount of 6oz, I had to pump frequently, every 3-4 hours and drink lots of liquid and eat those food that encourage milk supply. Fenugreek helps a lot!
2 months passed just like that and it was time to get back to work! Most of the time, I pumped and fed her through the bottle to let her get used to it since we will be sending her to her babysitter when I'm off to work. She loves the bottle more because the flow is consistent and not much effort needed plus minus the trying and error while latching.
Pumping at work is NEVER easy. My office is not a mommy-friendly office whereby there's a mother's room prepared for "pumping-mothers". I sought advices from my friends and some advices that I get myself a nursing wrap and pump on my desk. I'm just not brave enough to do this, added up with the pumping noise yee-ook yee-ook. I will not pump in peace and thus, I believe there won't be much milk flow as well. The only last choice is pump in toilet! Sighhh.... Pump and throw because it's not hygiene at all. Thank God, on the first day I went back to office, I saw a store room in my office. I found the keys in the drawer and voila, so thankful that at least I have a "better" place to pump compared to pump in toilet and throw the EBM. Such a waste.....
I diligently pumped twice when I'm in office and keep the breastmilk in the fridge. And there was one time that I didn't close the lid tight enough and all the 10oz of milk that I pumped spilled in the plastic bag that I used to wrap up the milk bottle. Felt so heart ache...... my hard work!
Even though I found a perfect spot to pump which is the store room , but there are several keys holder, myself, the admin and maintenance GUY. So, no matter how I lock the door, the key holders can anytime open the door. =( There was one time while I was enjoying pumping, I heard keys sound entering the door knob of the store room, the key lock twisted and I was so panic. I quickly stopped the machine and get dressed up and phewww, I managed to settle everything before the door opened. And a cleaner walked in, she was shocked that I was inside. This was the first incident, at least it was a lady cleaner.
The 2nd Incident, the same thing happened, I heard the door knob twisted and I got very panic, I quickly stopped the machine, put back the pump and almost spilled the milk all over on the floor as I need to dress up asap before the door knob opens. This time, I didn't get to dress up on time as the door knob opened faster than I could ever get covered up. But thankfully, the person who opened the door didn't walk straight in. At least I still have some time to cover up nicely and then I walked out of the store room. This time, it was the maintenance GUY. Sighhh.......... Pump With No Peace.
After this few incidents, I decided to sacrifice my lunch and pump during lunch time instead hoping that everyone goes for lunch and no maintenance/cleaner will enter the store room. This solution works....
Finally, after much hurdles and sweat, we made it to the 6th months. I hit my minimum target of breastfeeding and we were doing so well!
Until one day .......
I was having fever due to the hot weather, lack of sleep and no proper nutrition due to the busyness... my body failed and I got fever. I got no energy to get up and pump every 3-4 hours and thus, I delayed the pumping sessions and due to that, I got engorgement as I didn't empty my breasts completely. I just didn't have the energy to sit down and slowly pump and get it emptied..... few days later, my fever recovered but the next day, I got fever again. I knew something was not right because I know this fever was due to internal inflammation. My instinct was right, I suspected I had mastitis. =( Big ouch..... The next day, we drove to Gleneagles and check back with my gynae, it was confirmed that I had mastitis and I was under antibiotic for 1 week. Thank God, no abscess and thus, no surgery needed. It was scary enough when the doc sent me away for ultrasound to check if there was any abscess and if yes, I would need to go for surgery...... I almost fainted when I heard that. Thank God!
After antibiotic, my fever went down and the swell recovered. All was well for few weeks and breastfeeding continued... until one day.......... my cutie pie bit me! Oucchhh...... the injury got worst as days went by due to the continuous pumping without any rest days. We drove to normal GP, the doc gave some cream but it didn't work. Then, we went to Pantai Hospital for specialist and she gave an antibiotic cream and was told to stop pumping for 2 days to let it heal. This antibiotic cream worked great and the injury became better. But, it was not possible for me not to pump because of the engorgement, so I went on with a really low speed, but with this low speed, the duration dragged on to 30 mins per session. Big Ouch again ..... In the end, I decided to give up BF. I was tired of all these pains and since I've hit my minimum target of 6 mths, I've accomplished the least. Still, I felt a bit sayang as I know breastmilk is really good but I need to let it recover. It took me 1.5 months to totally stop bf and finally, 6 July was the last day my baby was on breastmilk. And on this last day, the only frozen breastmilk left in the freezer, somehow the bottle slipped from my hands and parp... the milk spilled all over my shirt. Sighhhhhhhhhh.............the only last and precious breastmilk left, I dropped it! =(
Goodbye bf... till we meet again next time!
0 comments:
Post a Comment