Saturday, March 12, 2016

Postpartum blues


The first week of confinement...
And the story of the umbilical cord...

Postnatal blues are quite real. You get emotional easily and your tears welled up just like that.

In the first week of confinement, it was a roller coaster ride for the family. We thought everything was perfect until we reached home and the two older kids started vomiting and had diarrhea. We were so afraid that this virus might spread to our baby, so we quarantined baby Victoria upstairs. Justin had to handle the two kids as I did not want to get in contact with any of those bugs. He washed and cleaned and changed their clothes a couple of times due to the aftermath of their vomiting.

Then, the confinement lady called and she said she was recovering from her flu and cough, asked if we still want her to come over. She was afraid that she might spread the flu bugs to our newborn. Sigh. We agreed to let her fully recover before she come over, which means we do not have any helper for the time being. Thank God, grandma and MIL came over to cook for me.

The next day, Ashlynn started to have bad tummy ache and she vomited the whole morning. Justin brought her to the doctor, she got a medicine inserted to her butt to stop the vomiting but when she came back, she vomited again whenever she eats/drinks. Literally, she was so tired and weak that she lied down the whole day. I felt so helpless looking at her like that. I couldn't take it anymore, I called my mom if she can come over to help with the older kids. In the afternoon, my parents drove all the way from Penang to here. So thankful!

After the kids recovered, Justin was down with some diarrhea and mild fever. Look at how contagious the virus is. No matter how we sanitized and washed our hands so frequently, the virus spread so quickly. And on the same day, baby Victoria had to be admitted to the hospital due to the shot up in her jaundice level. The day she was discharged (2nd day), her jaundice was only 156. And on the 4th day, it shot up to 289. The Paediatrician was worried because jaundice is the peak on the 6th-7th day and then only it will come down gradually. He decided to admit her for at least 2 days of photo therapy. My heart just broke when I heard it. My tears welled up in my eyes. Knowing that I had to leave the baby alone in the hospital and the thought of me going home without my baby just broke my heart. After settling the admission and knowing that baby was well taken care off, we went home. I was quite relieved because there was a dedicated nurse in the photo therapy room and there were only 2 newborns in the room.

 

Thank God my parents were around to look after the older kids. Unfortunately, the Saturday night itself my mom kept vomiting and had diarrhea. Looks like she was now infected by the annoying bugs. She woke up the whole night vomiting and diarrhea-ing. Sigh.

On Sunday, we received good news from the Dr that baby can be discharged. Jaundice went down to about 218 and all we need is to keep feeding her milk and more milk. The more she poos, the faster the jaundice will subside. We brought our baby home and I felt so complete again. How much I miss her. And how much I miss latching her. On the other hand, my parents went back to Penang, which means we do not have anymore helping hands.

I tried to manage everything on my own, cooking my own confinement food and Justin settle the older kids plus cooking their porridge. It was a little havoc and I was so tired, juggling everything on our own. Knowing that Justin will be back to work the next day and we couldn't carry on with this, we called the confinement lady to come over the next day, praying hard she won't spread any virus to the family. I was so paranoid of sickness at this moment.

1 week passed. Our confinement lady is really a good one, except that she's still recovering from her cough and phlegm. She's hardworking, she's really an angel to us. She cooks, she cleans, she mops, she sweeps, she washes, basically she does everything except handling baby. We just did not want her to come in contact with our newborn because she's still recovering.

On the 8th Mar, exactly one week since Victoria was born, her umbilical cord dried and dropped. I kept all the kids umbilical cord in an angpow and decided to do the same for Victoria. So, it dropped on 8 Mar, 5am while I was cleaning her poo. Then, I placed the umbilical cord next to the changing table to let it dry further and then I'll keep in the angpow.

The next day, Daniel came to our room. He saw the umbilical cord and he thought it was rubbish. He told me he wanted to throw the rubbish in the dustbin and without thinking further or seeing what he's going to throw, I just opened the toilet door and he threw away the "rubbish". In the evening, I was looking for the umbilical cord. Where was it and my heart just sank when I couldn't find it anywhere in the room, on the bed, on the floor. I just couldn't see the umbilical cord. My tears welled up and started gushing down my cheeks. I cried so hard while looking around for the umbilical cord. I was so sad knowing that it was gone and I will not have any memory of it. Furthermore, knowing that we won't be doing this again (getting pregnant again) just made my heart sank further. The stabbed in my heart was so hard and it was painful. I cried even harder when I think of all these. Suddenly, I remembered Daniel was busy throwing the things in my room when he came in the morning. In my heart, I hoped that he did not throw in the toilet bowl. I started to dig out the rubbish in the toilet, taking out the rubbish one by one. Then, I saw the umbilical cord!! My tears stopped immediately and my heart jumped for joy. Thank you God!

I picked up the umbilical cord and washed it in the sink. That was not the end of it. I accidentally dropped the umbilical cord while washing it in the sink and it went down the pipe! Goshhhh.... my heart stopped beating and tears started welling up again. I quickly off the tap and then opened the container underneath the sink. I couldn't see the umbilical cord in the container. I on the tap again and pop.. suddenly I saw the umbilical cord dropping down. Phewww.... I didn't want to wash further and I quickly pat dry it and put it in  my cupboard, as high as possible so that Daniel could not reach it. If I lose it again, I think I will lose my mind and will be so miserable because I do not have a complete collection, from my firstborn to the youngest.

I'm so looking forward for rainbow days ahead. Good days ahead of us.
That was the story of the first week of our confinement. Lots of dramas, lots of ups and downs... hopefully things get better and easier.

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